Where Did The Time Go?

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Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. (Proverbs 22:6 NLT)

Where did the time go?  It seems that just yesterday I was bringing home this handsome little guy. Then I turn around and he's toothless and in elementary school. After blinking, he's now a senior and will soon be embarking on a new adventure. 

I have enjoyed every stage of motherhood and am blessed that God gave him to me. He is my miracle child. He is God given. God does have a call on his life and wants to use him to reach others. I hope and pray that I have done all I can to guide him and show him God's love. 

My prayer for him is to continually put God first, seek God's will for his life at all times, and to seek God's wisdom.

I love you son!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:5, 6 NLT)

Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment. If you prize wisdom, she will make you great. Embrace her, and she will honor you. (Proverbs 4:7, 8 NLT)

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13 NLT)

To Know Me

“Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’ (Matthew 7:21-23 NLT)

“I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth! (Revelation 3:15, 16 NLT)

More than my words, more than my actions, more than anything else...God wants to know me.  Not just part of me, not just a little of me.  He wants my heart to be fully his.

Overwhelmed

Psalm 61:1,2 NLT  O God, listen to my cry!  Hear my prayer!  From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed.  Lead me to the towering rock of safety.

I feel so overwhelmed these days with thoughts, emotions, and life in general.  There's a storm going on around and within me that many don't see or know about.  Those who do see just don't know how to help.

I cry for help but it seems as though my cries fade and disappear into the raging wind.  God where are you?  I feel so alone. Does no one hear?  Does no one care?  Yes?  No?  Maybe?

Maybe people don't hear or care.  Maybe they do. We as humans do fail each other.   I fail all the time.  Others fail me as well.  But I can't let that take root in me and grow anger and bitterness.  

No matter how I feel, I must realize that God cares, even when Satan is telling me otherwise.  I may not see or know exactly what God is working on for me, but I must just trust him.  

Deuteronomy 31:6 NLT  So be strong and courageous!  Do not be afraid and do not panic before them.  For the Lord you God will personally go ahead of you.  He will never fail you nor abandon you.

All I can do is just stand there on his rock of safety, breathe (physically & spiritually), and know that it will be ok as long as I keep looking to and trusting God.  

Getting To The Root Of The Problem

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, (2 Corinthians 10:4 NKJV)

God is taking me on a journey these days.  I've been praying Psalm 139:23-4, "Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself if there is anything offensive in me, Then guide me on the road to eternal life."  God is definitely examining me.  


Lately, He's bringing to my remembrance hurtful, ugly things of the past.  To which has brought me to question God.  God, why are you bringing up my past when you've forgiven me and thrown those sins into the sea of forgetfulness?  You see, it isn't the sin that He's bringing back to me, it's the nature of these sins...the strongholds that were built by the enemy.  I am saved by grace and completely forgiven.  He doesn't remember my sin.  But as I have prayed for Him to search me, examine me, and totally cleanse me, and make me into His image, He is showing me strongholds that must be destroyed and eradicated from within me.  As He brings these to my mind, I am being obedient, repenting, and taking back ground to remove these from my life.  


You see when I was in sin, I allowed Satan access to thoughts, actions, emotions, every part of my being.  Here's a great quote from A Mystery of Majesty by Dennis Jernigan:  "The energies we expend in keeping our sins secret are the actual 'materials' of which a stronghold is made."  But as God's Light is shining upon these areas of our heart and mind, these dark places must go.  I want Christ's righteousness in every area where Satan once dwelt within me.  


How am I doing it?  Complete obedience and willingness to be broken and remade into Christ's image.  If it doesn't totally line up with God and His Word, then I repent of it because anything against Christ is "anti-Christ." 


I am realizing that some of the strongholds of my life are because of my childhood experiences and perceptions.  God is continually showing me that what I "learned" through those experiences and how He was presented at times isn't necessarily what or who He is.  He is showing me His truth and is revealing himself to me in such a greater dimension than I could ever imagine.  


If it is a thought...I am taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).  I am replacing the negative thoughts with positive, God-filled thoughts.  Philippians 4:8 "Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things."  I have also learned that how I think is how I'm going to be (Proverbs 23:7 As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.)  If I think I'm defeated, then I am; However, if I think/know that I'm redeemed and can rejoice in God's freedom, then I am free!


As far as my actions, they were due to the negative influence of environments and people I called friends.  As God began His transformation of my heart and life, I realized that these things were my stumbling blocks and would lead me back down the dark, miserable path of addiction and bondage of sin.  So I prayed for God's strength to get me through the temptations and avoided these negative influences like the plague.  (2 Peter 3:17-8  Beware lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked; but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.) (Matthew 26:44  Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation.  The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.)  I have purposed in my heart that I will never go back into the misery I was in.  I love my Savior too much. 

Spiritual Breathing

I've been reading a book off and on for a while now.  This section spoke to me.

Spiritual Breathing...hmmm.  We must breathe in the physical sense lest we die.  But what about spiritually?

Let's look at the physical first.  Here's the definition of breathe.

1) A :  to draw air into and expel  it from the lungs :  to take in oxygen and give out carbon dioxide through natural processes 

B :  to inhale and exhale freely 

   2)  live 

So the process is to take in good and exhale waste or bad.  This is natural process, not forced.  I especially love definition #2...Live.

So we must breathe spiritually as well.  We must inhale and exhale freely.  We must live.  We must breathe in God and exhale anything that isn't like him.  This should be second nature just as physical breathing is.  We should be filling ourselves with more of the Spirit instead of ourselves.  

Here's an excerpt from  Not A Fan:

The basic idea is that you live with a moment by moment awareness of the Spirit until walking in the Spirit becomes as natural--as habitual--as breathing.  It's just part of who you are.  Here's how it works:  the moment you become aware of the sin in your life you exhale.  When you exhale, you breathe out and repent of your sin.  Repentance becomes a natural response and clears out space in our hearts for the Spirit to fill us.  So the moment you are prideful, jealous, lustful, harsh, selfish, impatient, you exhale and repent of your sin.

The only way to be filled with the Spirit is to empty myself of me.  When I empty me of me, it provides space for the Holy Spirit to fill me.  The more he fills me the less room there is for me.

And then you inhale.  When you inhale you breathe in and pray to be filled with the Spirit and you surrender control over to him.  As you practice this spiritual breathing it teaches you to keep in step with the Spirit.

As you become more aware of his presence and pray daily for his power, what feels forced and unnatural now will become second nature.

God help me to be aware of you.  To listen to you and exhale/repent of anything that is not like you.  Remove me and fill me with you.  Let me breathe in your spirit to guide me and mold me.  I cannot do this alone and need your strength and power along this journey of life.