As I was reading the Bible today, I came across 1 Samuel 15. I don't guess I've really paid any particular attention to this chapter before, but it sure stood out today.
God had taken Saul, a nobody, and appointed him as king. God made him into something great. Later, God told King Saul to do something, but Saul listened to peer pressure and decided that he would only do part of what God wanted him to do. He and the soldiers kept what appealed to them instead of destroying everything. Saul disrespected and disregarded God's command to him; he was stubborn and rebellious. He twisted and watered down what God wanted from him to fit his desires. Being deceived by those thoughts, Saul even began to believe them thinking he had truly obeyed God. He built a monument to himself, instead of giving credit to God. He thought about God after the fact when Samuel called him out on his disobedience. Saul's disobedience to God cost him being king but he was still able to seek repentance.
Several points come to mind about this story.
God took Saul and made him great. Not by anything Saul did but God using him. Unfortunately, this went to Saul's head. His ego got the best of him. He didn't fully submit and wasn't obedient to God. How many times have I done the exact same thing? Sometimes, we get into ourselves instead of fully relying on God and giving him the credit. We must remember that without God we can do nothing (John 15:5 NLT "I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing"). It is not our own power or ability, but God through us ( 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NLT "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me...For when I am weak, I am strong"). And that it's only through Christ that we can do everything (Philippians 4:13)!
Saul decided to not fully obey and destroy everything evil. He kept what he wanted and what appealed to him. Oh man. That one hit hard. So many times God has asked for everything of me, and I would hold on to something here and something there thinking that God didn't really expect everything from me. Just like Saul, I paid the price for it. God won't continue to allow blatant disobedience without some kind of consequence. When God says something, he really means it. If we truly love God, we will be fully obedient and give him everything (John 14:15 NLT "If you love me, obey my commandments.") That's when God got a hold of me and put me on my face before him. As I gave him everything in me, all those dark places, all those things I wanted to hold on to, he broke me and removed those sinful things and replaced those holes with his love and light. I won't say that's an easy process. Quite the opposite, it's very painful; sickening even when you get real and realize what you've been holding back on from God.
God desires a true relationship and obedience more than an outward showing or ritual from us. (1 Samuel 15:22 NLT "What is more pleasing to The Lord: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.") This isn't saying that what we do isn't important but we must evaluate the condition of our heart. Am I or we doing something for the wrong reasons? Am I or we just doing something out of religious obligation? Am I just checking a box? What will my friends and church people think? God desires a complete heart relationship with us, and in turn, we will be fully open and obedient to him. We shouldn't worry about what man thinks, rather what God thinks and desires of us (Galatians 1:10 NLT "Obviously I'm not trying to win the approval of people but of God"). Our desire should be to have a pure heart before God (Psalm 51:10). We must be humble enough to ask God to search us, find what is not like him, and show us what needs to be changed so we can repent (Psalm 139:23-24 NLT "Search me o God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.")
Saul's influences helped him have a warped sense of what God wanted from him. He watered down God's commands to him and his people. This is exactly where our world is today. So many thoughts and false teachings out there to make people feel good about a loving God. Yes, he is loving. But he also gave us certain guidelines to follow. There is no gray area with God. We can't take just a little bit of his word and make it fit what we want it to fit (2 Timothy 4:3-4 "For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths.")
Even through Saul's disobedience and paying the price of his decisions, he still repented before God. How many times have I failed God? How many have you? How many consequences have we faced from our poor decisions? But we don't have to stay there wallowing in those decisions and failures. I am so thankful that God is merciful and forgiving. God doesn't want any of us to perish, but our motives and heart must be right. We must be truly repentant of our sins. God's grace isn't an excuse to sin; to go do what we want and say that I'll repent later. God's grace isn't the great cover up! No one who comes to Jesus and enters a true love relationship with him can stay the same. It isn't just words we repeat in a prayer. It is a true heart transformation by Christ that changes us, guides us to be more like him daily, and to seek him daily. (1 Corinthians 15:31 NLT "But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.")
Dear God, I am so thankful for your love and mercy. So thankful for your saving grace. So thankful that you continue to search me and change me. God I am yours. Break me of me. Everything in and of me is yours. Continue to remove anything from me that is not like you. Continue to mold me. I pray that my heart and motives continue to be pure before you. Forgive me of the times I hold back. Forgive me of when I second guess you. Forgive me of those times that I try to do it on my own. Forgive me of the times I fail you. I can do nothing on my own but with you there is unlimited potential. Not for my glory but for yours Lord. Use this vessel and servant. Continue to teach me and give me wisdom. Amen.
